still cant sleep...

im still restless, i dont think im done...  

post ike, everyone has been talking on the tv and radio about getting back to a state of normalcy...  i dont think i want that...  i wasnt very happy with normal...  to be quite honest, it wasnt really working for me...  my life was pretty stagnant, so many things were falling by the wayside for me, i was taking on far more than i should, thinking that the quantity of service that i did was what mattered...  or so my actions would denote that...  

truth be told, ive been in way over my head for some time now, and i think at this very moment ive just realized that...

im a jumper... if i find something good, something that i like, something that i feel benefits me, i jump in head first...  and the freefall is beautiful, its the single most exhilirating feeling ever experienced...  until i land flat on my head...  after impact, i deal with the pain, pick up the broken pieces of what is left of myself, and trudge forward, towards the next cliff that awaits me...  

ive done this time and time again with my relationships with women, with jobs, etc...  what i never expected is that i would do the same with my relationship with God...  

but now that the honeymoon is over, what is my next step...  

for me, its re-evaluation...  i have a foundation that needs to be checked, and a place to set some strong roots...  in nervous, but at least i caught myself before impact this time...  

i think...

pray for me...

i cant sleep

ok, its been quite some time since ive seen this hour without reason...  usually if i were to be awake now, im doing something that i probably, better yet assuredly, have no business doing...  

i cant sleep...  i cant get comfortable...  and that means one thing, its finally time for me to write...

about what, i have no clue...  my mind is a blank slate, covered in invisible scribble so small and moving so quickly that i cannot decipher it...  and its pretty darn annoying...

i was involved in an interesting conversation about dreams yesterday, and i had a moment...  as one of the contributors began to talk about their dream, i could immediately figure out the symbols and the meanings...  i was given an interpretation so profound and clear that all i wanted to do was stop everything and tell them...  and i didnt... it still burns inside of me...  but theres a part of me that feels that this person will believe me to be insane to give my interpretation...

i think im gonna do it...  be right back...