Monday, July 20, 2009

stream of conciousness

ok, first of all, this assignment was intended to be done first thing in the morning, so i am already behind... behind, that is a comment that i am all too familiar with... for the greater part of my life i have felt like the one that is behind... just by a step or two, but just enough to be annoying... the funny part is, that i couldnt tell you who i was comparing myself to before... now, however i can say that i have developed a pattern for the nonsense...

i find someone that i admire, someone that has something that i aspire to have, and i try to emulate some of their positive habits or qualities... this is ineffective for the most part, since the things meant for others are not meant for me, and it took me some time to figure that all out... its only now, as i am writing this that i am truly coming to terms with that... i am not to be like someone else, i am to be something different, unlike any other...

ive got my own pot in this whole big thing, and i gotta figure it all out... ugh.. that means more work for me to do... where am i supposed to find the time to do all this work... with school starting soon, it will be increasingly difficult for me to do all the things necessary to fulfill my purpose, unless i streamline some things out... what is going to fall by the wayside???

interesting question...

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