Excellence or Education... An insider's look into the hits and misses of public education...

this is not intended to point fingers directly at institutions or people, but it will... not intended to step on toes, but if you feel pressure on your feet, just know that i am only trying to incite some change... create some discomfort to cause some ripples...

mind you, im fairly new to education, at least from the point of view of the teacher... having been a student for over 20 years from first through college, i have vast experience as a student... but in the midst of my second year as a teacher, i have made some observations has led me to draw some conclusions regarding the public educational system...

ive seen the slogan "Excellence in Education" in many places, and used as a "call to arms" so to speak... ive attended ceremonies with motivational speakers, and big grand performances reminding me that the students we service are "the future of our nation"... im reminded consistently to "not give up" on my kids, and to "keep up the good fight"... i have to keep my team motivated in meetings, and redirect any conversation thats headed down a negative path...

all of that is well and good, and it makes for good drama... but when it comes to actually being in the classroom with the kids, it means nothing... no amount of pep talking, or motivational speaking can make a productive classroom... and lets be honest, as an educator, my livelihood depends on my students...

from the beginning, we are beset on both ends by hostiles... on one side we have our administration... an administration that is under the microscope from governmental agencies to educate everyone... which brings about a conundrum... we are charged with the task of educating every citizen... but not every citizen wants the education we provide...

revisit... i just went blank...

ok, ive had a couple more months of experience, and i guess from this point i can continue the thoughts i so passionately wished to express earlier...

truth of the matter is, not everyone wishes to have the kind of education we are forced to provide them... i know thats hard to believe, but there are people out there, that their goal in life is to be a truck driver, or ultrasound technician, or work offshore, or go into the military... for those people, the kind of education that we are pressing upon then, the things that we are asking them to know, are counterproductive to them actually getting out there and pursuing their lifes work...

then there are those that just dont wish to be there at all... the ones that come to school for the sole reason that they are legally obligated by their age to attend school... these kids are easily recognizable by their active participation in failing and rule-breaking... these are your 17-year old freshmen... the kids that spend more energy running the hallways skipping class than would be needed to go to class and sleep in the back...

i am a firm believer that if you don't want to be here, i don't want you here... for those kids, i would undoubtedly reinstate expulsion... and if i were a government official, required enlistment into the military...

i truly think that the problem is that these kids see no real consequence of their actions... teenagers by nature are a "right now" minded group, they cant cognitively comprehend long-term consequences of their actions... one thing that i have noticed about NCLB, is that it has successfully removed short-term accountability from the hands of the administrator... Principals are more concerned about attendance and enrollment, and the amount of funding they get... yes, they are responsible for providing a safe environment, but when we cannot essentially refuse those that create the adverse environment, then we make it that much more unsafe for those looking to achieve...

ok, so lets talk about where this behavior comes from... because it had to start somewhere... yes, i am talking about the parents now... well lets look at this... this are the grandchildren of the civil rights movement of the 60's, the children of the teens of the 70's and 80's... these are the result of 'black folks doin better"... the kids that grew up watching the cosby's and a different world... also the kids of the "john singleton movie era", where violence and thuggery were romanticized... these are the kids if the "tupac and biggie" era...

what im trying to get to is this... these are the children of the kids that were taught to "get ahead" and also to 'not forget where you came from"... i know we are all taught that, but none were subjected to this more... at least in this exaggerated world of music and film... we were told to get money, but when we did, we were marked as a sellout for doing so... so our goal was to remain as typically "black" as possible, while being as ambitious as possible for our place in life...

the children of these parents grew up with a strange conflict... they are spoiled, spoiled rotten some of them, but they are also taught that they must be a s "real' to who they are as black children... meaning they have to be hard, have to be the stereotype, have to "not be a punk"... which leads even the intellectuals at my school to perpetrate with sagging jeans, and tall t-shirts... even years after the fad has passed, and jeans have returned to a reasonable level, these kids have to hold on to what they know to be true, that anything less would single them out as a punk and subject them to ridicule...

more later, gotta take a break...

Distance

Saved for later: expand distance formula to include acceleration and initial velocity...

why did i connect???

i connected because it felt like home... i had recently been brought back from my prodigal travels (lol), and had begun service at the church that i was a part of... at the time, there was no joy in the service i was providing, and it was beginning to move on me that the church that i was attending had served its purpose by reawakening me...

it was one of these days that i was invited by a friend... once i walked in, it felt like home, and i knew i was meant to be there for some time...

stream of conciousness

ok, first of all, this assignment was intended to be done first thing in the morning, so i am already behind... behind, that is a comment that i am all too familiar with... for the greater part of my life i have felt like the one that is behind... just by a step or two, but just enough to be annoying... the funny part is, that i couldnt tell you who i was comparing myself to before... now, however i can say that i have developed a pattern for the nonsense...

i find someone that i admire, someone that has something that i aspire to have, and i try to emulate some of their positive habits or qualities... this is ineffective for the most part, since the things meant for others are not meant for me, and it took me some time to figure that all out... its only now, as i am writing this that i am truly coming to terms with that... i am not to be like someone else, i am to be something different, unlike any other...

ive got my own pot in this whole big thing, and i gotta figure it all out... ugh.. that means more work for me to do... where am i supposed to find the time to do all this work... with school starting soon, it will be increasingly difficult for me to do all the things necessary to fulfill my purpose, unless i streamline some things out... what is going to fall by the wayside???

interesting question...

The "what if" entry...

just had an idea, a whole entry answering simple, "what if" questions...  sounds plain, but im gonna give it a shot anyway...

in a few...

"Too much love for self leaves no room in the heart for others..."  -me

thoughts for the day- parallel consciousness

im starting to believe that i exist in multiple dimensions, that there are many "me's" running about the universe that all seem to connect in this instance known as my body.

i know this sounds weird, but take a moment and hear me out...

i teach by profession, and while teaching is  a challenging venture, its not the most "intellectually stimulating" profession in the world...  the main focus is just managing the classroom, keeping the kids from killing each other...  there are points in the day where i find myself miles away from myself, lost in thought, or lost in non-conscious action.  ive traveled to lunches with friends and had conversations that i could have SWORN were real.

ok, im done with the crazy talk...  back to the tangible reality that is before my eyes right now...

summer school has proven to be more of a joke than the regular school year...  it would be a logical conclusion to think that the kids here would be actively trying to pass, seeing as though they a) want to graduate on time and b) don't want to lose out on any electives by taking the class again in the fall.  but taking into consideration that for most of these kids this is the 3rd time they have taken this course, its pretty reasonable to not see stellar performances.

one of the reasons i find it hard to focus i feel has just a little to do with the changes taking place this summer...  some of which i will discuss, the rest ill keep to myself... 

 but in due time...

for now, i must go...  i am lacking in more to say...

"Too much love for self leaves no room in the heart for others..."  -me

juneteenth: a worthwhile celebration turned fail

I meant this as a return to the world of writing, but as I began to type out my pre-determined title I realized that I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

I mean, what is there to be said.  Juneteenth was initially a celebration of the news reacing Texas that the war was over, and that the slave were all free.  And that is a great thing to celebrated. What isn't celebrated is that we were the last to know.  Ever since, Texas has been one of the slowest states to change.  But I am not here to talk about that.


In truth, I have no clue what to say.  As a non-writer (science teacher by trade) I am allowed to be a less-than-fantastic linguist. But even so, I have come to understand that my oratorial shortcomings have the potential to be exaggerated in the generation to follow, so I must be mindful of what is said, and how I say it. Though the majority of young adults I see everyday may not be aware of it, I'm rubbing off on them.  At least I would like to believe so, it gives me hope for them. 


I'm by no way saying that I am the best example for them to follow. I'm far from it. I would however like to believe that the way I manage my life, surroundings, and relationships gives them ba window into how a responsible adult carries out daily life.


I think I can get used to this again.  Should be an interesting summer, if I can ever start it.
Thanks for listening.